Even with this recent bombardment of amazing toys for us to tinker with as adults, I can't help but feel that we're on the fringe of something that's even greater. We're already on the quest for whatever may be next. I don't think anything as revolutionary as the computer is coming soon, but I also wouldn't rule it out either. I mean, I'm not prepared to say that teleportation isn't possible. It could be developed in a decade or so. Can you imagine working in Alaska and living in Columbus? This could become a reality with a teleporter.
Someone is also probably working on the flying car, which would definitely change the world. I think the flying car could be coming soon, airplanes were invented so long ago, don't they just have to make them smaller now? I'm pretty sure that's how it works.
Let me take you through my life and document the changes in technology I've seen. I promise, I will talk about sports, but not until later, so keep reading ladies.
When I was very young, I remember playing with red and green toy farm machinery, I think the same crap that either my mom or dad (not sure which family these toys came from) grew up fooling around with. Really, pretty mundane toys. I then remember getting an etch a sketch, a remarkably advanced toy compared to my miniature, red tractor. Later, I received the holy grail of toys, the Lite Bright. Playing with this toy not only taught me how to endure grand mal seizures, it also made me realize that I was about to see some wild shit, technologically, when I grew up and 7 year old ham was right, per usual. Overall, I probably didn't have a very eclectic experience in my youth, toywise.
I was also around for the video game explosion. I very vaguely remember having an atari at home, and although I know there were gaming systems prior to the atari, I still feel like it was the first relevant gaming system. I also feel like the joysticks probably helped a lot of younger boys accidentally discover masturbation. I remember getting a nintendo on christmas one year, JACKPOT. It still has some of the most entertaining games I've ever played on any system (Bases Loaded 4, I'm unstoppable with Hawaii). I never had an SNES but I was able to get a Sega, which was pretty good, but I preferred the Nintendo. Then there were weird things like Sega Saturn but later Nintendo 64 and Playstation were released. I was given a Nintendo 64 one year for christmas as well, but my desire to play video games basically died out shortly thereafter. I have played about every gaming system though, with HALO being the only game which I occasionally get the itch to play.
I also remember the advancement of computers. I remember going to first grade, and I can visualize my 1st grade room but I can't place if there was a computer in it. I'm pretty confident that it didn't have a computer at that point. This is what I can remember from first grade. I remember my teacher Mrs. Thomas, saying that her husband, Bill (whom I've never met), birthday was October 25th, which I remember because that is my birthday. I remember one day when Stephanie asked me, "what color goes good with yellow?" To which I replied, "I'm not sure. I should know this, though, my mom sells Mary Kay." Flawless logic. I also remember dropping my lunch ticket in the toilet. One thing I do not remember from first grade, that my mom told me about when I was in fourth grade was making fun of a kid for not being able to read. My mom said that Mrs. Thomas had told her at a PTA meeting that while a classmate was reading aloud, and stumbling on the words, I said something like, "can you hurry up already?" out loud. As I previously stated, I don't remember this incident and I think Mrs. Thomas probably confused me with the class bully that particular night. Anyway, I guess the whole situation apparently went down like this.
Skip ahead two years to third grade and I know for sure, at this point every classroom in the school had a computer. This is probably when I began to beg my parents for a computer. It was a difficult process for me too, because all I really wanted a computer at home for was to play minesweeper. I had a rough time explaining why this would be useful in our home at the tender age of 9. Eventually dad caved, and we purchased our first ever computer. I quickly began a quest to set records for every level of minesweeper. Unfortunately, and I probably could have mentioned this earlier, I didn't even know the object of minesweeper. I just liked clicking until it made me start over.
Skip ahead another year and I sat in a computer lab for computer class. The towers on these computers had something extra, I was told it was called CD-Rom. This CD-Rom enabled us to play sweet games like, "Sell Lemonade" and "Oregon Trail." Naturally, I went home and started my campaign for CD-Rom. Like clockwork, mom and pop caved and I found myself sabotaging my own family on Oregon Trail so I could put things on the tombstone like, "Here Lies 'Fart'," or "Here Lies 'a studmonkey' (an incredibly popular phrase in my youth)".
Next came the internet, which changed the entire world, obviously. After the changing of the entire world, my parents got the internet as well and I started my new life as a music pirate. Then cell phones were popularized and I received my first one on Christmas during my junior year of high school. It was awesome; it had a calculator and could place phone calls. This technology baffled me for a period of time. I remember wondering how exactly my cell phone worked, I probably still don't know for sure, but I've quit thinking about it. Anyway, I remember coming home one weekend night and the power was out at my parents house. I took out my beloved cell phone and opened it up, I remember thinking, "the power is out but my cell still works." I was completely dumbfounded and perhaps not coincidentally, I was also drunk as shit.
Once the internet blew up, sports coverage began to prevail everywhere, making every sport accessible to nearly all willing consumers. I have absolutely no reason to like hockey as much as I do, but someone like me, who is so enveloped in other sports, eventually just can't stay away from it. Now, it is my favorite sport to watch in person and my second favorite sport overall. I only have the proliferation of the internet, television broadcasting and the laziness of myself to thank for finding this new sport I so enjoy.
I think since the time I received my first cell phone in December 2003, there hasn't been a great deal of brand new technologies developed that have quite affected our lives as much. Sure, computers and cellphones have gotten exponentially better, but I think we're due for something earth shattering to come out. I was pondering this possibility during my last Minster to Columbus drive and it was weird, I got really excited. I really believe we are going to see some wild, wacky innovations in the near future.
One idea that my brain eventually locked in on was 3D television. I know, it already exists, but I began to think about my first experience with it. I saw Avatar in 3D at the imax in Columbus, and although I hated the movie, it was visually incredible. I fast-forwarded my thinking to about ten years from now. I'm predicting that 3D televisions will be standard in households with everything on television being broadcast in 3D. At this point I basically began to flip out just thinking about how amazing that will make sports-watching. I thought about baseball, having a camera right behind the umpire in 3D, the pitch will be coming right at us and seeing it fly away after the batter makes his connection. Even cooler will be foul tips that seemingly, barrel right back towards us. I then thought about its impact on the NHL; already the most visually stimulating game to watch in HD. White ice, blue and red lines, colorful jerseys (sweaters) and people skating all over the place. A 3D camera on the net, having pucks fly directly at us, only to be snatched by the goalies arm that swings out from right in front of us. It's going to be absolutely breathtaking.
So that's basically it.
I've been thinking about this blog quite frequently over the past few weeks. I usually don't take the time to post on it and when I do, it's really only for about a handful of readers. While I really, really appreciate the following I do get, I think there is something I need to change. I like to write about sports but so do about 100,000,000 other people and I'm far from the best at it. I've really only told about 4 people that I've started to write a novel and I'm sure half of the 6 people who started reading this have stopped by now. So about 7 people know now. Keep it quiet. My novel is about 40% autobiographical and while writing it, I've reminisced about so many weird times in my life. Times which aren't necessarily shocking or amazing but have left vivid images in my brain (see the "what color goes with yellow" story above). I'm trying to find my niche on this blog. While I will never be the best sports writer, I am most definitely the best writer of my life. So this post will usher in a series of posts, which I'll refer to as the "Vivid Images Series," which will incorporate a specific memory of my life into whatever topic I choose to write about.
Ok, I think I'm done here, sorry about the length.
Never had to apologize for that before (ZING!)
