World Series Podcast

Click here to listen to my World Series Podcast with Burke Granger.

World Series: Pros(e) and Cons

The World Series begins tonight and very excited for it. Remember getting your license, or turning 21, or other cool things that made you excited? That’s how I feel: excited. However, everything about the World Series isn’t great, so I’ve made a list of some of the most important pros and cons revolving around the Fall Classic. Pro/Con always works.

PROS

1) Atmosphere è San Francisco and Arlington

I honestly believe these two cities had the best crowds out of all the teams that made the postseason. Crowd involvement might be my favorite thing about the playoffs.

2) Big Stage è Immortality

This is the most prestigious setting you’ll find anywhere in baseball. This gives players the opportunity to do amazing (terrible) things that absolutely take our breath away and sew their image into our brains forever. It can be just about anybody. Does Vlad have one huge series left in him? Pat Burrel (okay, I just made myself laugh)? Will a new star most people haven’t heard of emerge (Elvis Andrus)? Will it be one of the usual suspects (Josh Hamilton, Cliff Lee, Cody Ross, Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain)?

3) Second-Guessing every managerial decision (With Keith Law on Twitter)

Since is the biggest stage anywhere in baseball, every play, every decision becomes magnified and scrutinized. The commentator’s tend to weigh in and so does Keith Law, snarkily belittling every manager. It’s just fun.

4) Watching Grown Men Realize Their Dream (and hopefully cry)

This probably is actually my favorite part of postseason baseball. If you watch enough regular season baseball, you’ll notice players trying to get through the grind, robotically going through the motions of the seasonal day-to-day. We won’t see this in the World Series. Players care about this. A lot of these guys having been dreaming about the World Series since they were, I don’t know, 8? To see a 30-year-old dude win one and become emotional, well, it gives me chill bumps. Remember, we’re talking about dudes here, not girls who tend to cry over just about anything. “It’s one of the many defects of their kind, also, weak arms” (Dwight K. Schrute).

No, no, when you see a dude cry, you know something horrible, or something incredible has happened. It’s special.

5) It’s fucking awesome

CONS

1) Things

If you dislike fucking awesome things, you’re going to fucking hate the World Series.

2) ED Ads

I considered filing this under the “pro” column because ED ads have been known to make me giggle. Especially the one where the guy sees his reflection and the reflection asks him, “Well, are you gonna ask him?” Then the actual guy says, “Ask him about what?” Then the reflection says, “About our erectile dysfunction.”

I really thought that commercial was hilarious because it made me wonder what would happen the next time I knew my Dad was visiting the doctor, if I asked my Dad if he was going to ask his Doctor about our erectile dysfunction. He wouldn’t think it was funny, and I’d feel really uncomfortable after he didn’t laugh. That’s probably what would happen.

Sometimes I wonder why there are never any commercials for dental dams.

3) Game Length

This is really the worst part about postseason baseball. Since every decision becomes magnified, managers generally take more time with their decisions, and are more apt to making pitching changes. I bet this World Series will average about 3:20 per game during yes, I’m about to say it, the year of the pitcher.

4) Immediately Knowing A Horrible Call Has Been Made But Not Having The Ability To Change It

I heard Keith Law make the case for, steroids being worse for baseball than not having the use of instant replay. I think he’s right. At least so many people were using steroids that it was almost fair. Sure, many important records are now tarnished, but as steroids happened somewhat evenly throughout the game, bad calls do not happen evenly in the World Series and losing a game this important on a horseshit call is inexcusable. I hate seeing an instant replay 4 seconds after the play is finished showing a bad call was made. The amount games will be prolonged due to introduction of instant replay will be a smaller factor than the tragedy of a ruined World Series. The MLB should replay World Cup games prior to the World Series so the MLB lack of replay won’t look as terrible due to comparison.

5) World Series Means Baseball Season Is Finished

REDS!

It wouldn’t seem right if I didn’t take a little time to pick a World Series winner. I’ll take VERY little time, since it begins in two hours.

I give a slight pitching edge to the Giants because of their one-two and Brian Wilson’s beard. I know, I know, what about Cliff Lee? If Cliff has two World Series Games where he goes 8+IP, 2H, 0R, 11K, 0BB he will enter a strange realm. The realm I’m referring to is the “Obnoxious movie script” realm. Seriously, if Cliff Lee dominates this World Series and then there is a movie made where the main character is a Big League Pitcher who runs through two straight postseasons like Cliff Lee, it will seem too unrealistic to be believable/a good movie. Basically, I’m trying to say that some force has to make Cliff hittable in this World Series. It seems illogical for him to continue the way he has.

I give the Rangers a big edge in hitting, but in a 7 game series, how can you really know? You can’t, that’s why they play the games. I can’t believe I just said that shit.

If you’re keeping score, I just said the Giants have better pitching and the Rangers have better hitting, so who’ll win the Fall Classic? Well, I thought the Yankees and Phils had better teams that the Rangers and Giants respectively, so I’m picking the Giants to win this, if you know what I mean.

I hope the Rangers win though, so I can see Josh Hamilton cry when he’s asked to explain his journey from the Natural, to the addict, to World Series Champion. By the way, Josh’s life story would make the most ridiculously obnoxious, impossible movie script of all. God, I love sports.

Old Yellar (new podcast below. burke granger and i preview the AL and NLCS's)

I knew October 10^th, 2010 would be a memorable day. But I also kind of knew it would be memorable for all the wrong reasons. It was never my intention to create a blog where I inform the masses about my regular, day-to-day life. With this piece, I’ve decided to make an exception because last Sunday was special.

I remember visiting my mom’s parents a few times when I was little. The only way I can place my grandpa is in his golden recliner, either watching the Reds on television, or listening to them on the radio. Other than where he was from, and his occupation, that’s all I really know about him; he used to like the Reds. I also have a home video of my third birthday with my parents and brother, and my mom’s parents were also there. They sing happy birthday to me, and then Mom says to make a wish. I oblige and close my eyes to think of what I might want. While my eyes were closed, my 7-year-old brother thought it would be hilarious to blow my candles out, so he did. My Reds-loving grandpa yelled at my brother and my mom grabbed him by the ear. Between my Mom’s thumb and forefinger were my brother’s ear and the smoldering match, which she had lit the candles with and forgotten about. My brother screamed, cried, and called my mom a stupid-head in that order, making my third birthday my favorite birthday, easily.

Anyway, I know two things about that grandpa really; he loved the Reds and hated my brother.

The reason I thought October 10^th would be so memorable is because I had a few rarities that I was hoping to accomplish all on that day. I had planned to wake up and finish the book I’d been writing for 7 months. Then, I wanted to go to a bar in Columbus and watch the Browns and immediately leave after the game to be in Cincinnati in time for their first home playoff game in 15-years. It didn’t quite work out that way.

It turned out my aforementioned brother ended up calling me every 15 minutes to inform me that we were leaving an extra hour earlier. We ended up leaving Columbus at 11am to pick up our friends and get to Cincinnati in time to watch the Browns in a bar. It had to look strange to the locals. Five guys in Reds gear, yelling at the television every time the Browns screwed up.

If you’re keeping track, this is what’s happened so far: I thought I’d finish my book but couldn’t because we left for the game 6 hours before I thought we would, and I didn’t get to watch the Browns at my favorite bar in Columbus, and also, the Browns lost. The day wasn’t exactly going according to my plan.

After watching three hours of vomit-inducing quarterback play from the Browns, we made our way downtown to have a few more beers and get closer to the stadium. During the 15-minute drive I literally felt sick. For some reason, I began thinking about the movie, “Old Yellar.” I haven’t seen the movie since I was about 9 so my memory might be rusty. After Old Yellar is irreversibly stricken with rabies, they make the decision to shoot the dog. That Dad was ready to put the dog down, but his 12-year old son said he’d do it because, “she was my dog.”

I really wasn’t too excited to see the Reds play that home game because the series was at 0-2. Even if we had won that game, Roy Halladay was next. There was basically zero chance for the Reds after they got themselves behind two games. During the ride downtown, I thought of my Grandpa listening/watching every game. I thought of my Dad always having the games on as well. What else is there to do in Minster after you get off work? You watch the games, I guess. Finally, I thought about last season; how I was living by myself and didn’t have an operational television, not to mention, cable. I missed the entire ’09 Reds season and I hated it. I redeemed myself this season and caught just about every single game, and by the time we arrived at the stadium I thought, “This team is my dog.” I’m glad I was able to be there in person to witness the final game. It really was an amazing season.

Even though the day didn’t unfold exactly how I would have liked, it was still a memorable day. The first game I went to this season was about 1/3 of the way in. The Reds were playing the Cardinals, and actually ended up taking their first divisional lead that day. It was a gloomy Sunday and of course, half the stadium was vacant, and most of the people attending the game seemed pretty indifferent to the outcome. I remember saying to my buddy Jonathan that day, “Man, all I want is to go to a game where the stadium is full, and the crowd is actually into the game.”

Later in the season, I attended the division clinching game and went nuts with the rest of the crowd as Jay Bruce walked the Reds into the postseason for the first time in a decade in a half. That game fulfilled my wish, and it was granted again when I attended the playoff game a few weeks later. If only I had wished for a World Series Championship. Sigh.

Ham and Burke talk about Baseball (Ham and Burke Not Pictured)