World Series: Pros(e) and Cons

The World Series begins tonight and very excited for it. Remember getting your license, or turning 21, or other cool things that made you excited? That’s how I feel: excited. However, everything about the World Series isn’t great, so I’ve made a list of some of the most important pros and cons revolving around the Fall Classic. Pro/Con always works.

PROS

1) Atmosphere è San Francisco and Arlington

I honestly believe these two cities had the best crowds out of all the teams that made the postseason. Crowd involvement might be my favorite thing about the playoffs.

2) Big Stage è Immortality

This is the most prestigious setting you’ll find anywhere in baseball. This gives players the opportunity to do amazing (terrible) things that absolutely take our breath away and sew their image into our brains forever. It can be just about anybody. Does Vlad have one huge series left in him? Pat Burrel (okay, I just made myself laugh)? Will a new star most people haven’t heard of emerge (Elvis Andrus)? Will it be one of the usual suspects (Josh Hamilton, Cliff Lee, Cody Ross, Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain)?

3) Second-Guessing every managerial decision (With Keith Law on Twitter)

Since is the biggest stage anywhere in baseball, every play, every decision becomes magnified and scrutinized. The commentator’s tend to weigh in and so does Keith Law, snarkily belittling every manager. It’s just fun.

4) Watching Grown Men Realize Their Dream (and hopefully cry)

This probably is actually my favorite part of postseason baseball. If you watch enough regular season baseball, you’ll notice players trying to get through the grind, robotically going through the motions of the seasonal day-to-day. We won’t see this in the World Series. Players care about this. A lot of these guys having been dreaming about the World Series since they were, I don’t know, 8? To see a 30-year-old dude win one and become emotional, well, it gives me chill bumps. Remember, we’re talking about dudes here, not girls who tend to cry over just about anything. “It’s one of the many defects of their kind, also, weak arms” (Dwight K. Schrute).

No, no, when you see a dude cry, you know something horrible, or something incredible has happened. It’s special.

5) It’s fucking awesome

CONS

1) Things

If you dislike fucking awesome things, you’re going to fucking hate the World Series.

2) ED Ads

I considered filing this under the “pro” column because ED ads have been known to make me giggle. Especially the one where the guy sees his reflection and the reflection asks him, “Well, are you gonna ask him?” Then the actual guy says, “Ask him about what?” Then the reflection says, “About our erectile dysfunction.”

I really thought that commercial was hilarious because it made me wonder what would happen the next time I knew my Dad was visiting the doctor, if I asked my Dad if he was going to ask his Doctor about our erectile dysfunction. He wouldn’t think it was funny, and I’d feel really uncomfortable after he didn’t laugh. That’s probably what would happen.

Sometimes I wonder why there are never any commercials for dental dams.

3) Game Length

This is really the worst part about postseason baseball. Since every decision becomes magnified, managers generally take more time with their decisions, and are more apt to making pitching changes. I bet this World Series will average about 3:20 per game during yes, I’m about to say it, the year of the pitcher.

4) Immediately Knowing A Horrible Call Has Been Made But Not Having The Ability To Change It

I heard Keith Law make the case for, steroids being worse for baseball than not having the use of instant replay. I think he’s right. At least so many people were using steroids that it was almost fair. Sure, many important records are now tarnished, but as steroids happened somewhat evenly throughout the game, bad calls do not happen evenly in the World Series and losing a game this important on a horseshit call is inexcusable. I hate seeing an instant replay 4 seconds after the play is finished showing a bad call was made. The amount games will be prolonged due to introduction of instant replay will be a smaller factor than the tragedy of a ruined World Series. The MLB should replay World Cup games prior to the World Series so the MLB lack of replay won’t look as terrible due to comparison.

5) World Series Means Baseball Season Is Finished

REDS!

It wouldn’t seem right if I didn’t take a little time to pick a World Series winner. I’ll take VERY little time, since it begins in two hours.

I give a slight pitching edge to the Giants because of their one-two and Brian Wilson’s beard. I know, I know, what about Cliff Lee? If Cliff has two World Series Games where he goes 8+IP, 2H, 0R, 11K, 0BB he will enter a strange realm. The realm I’m referring to is the “Obnoxious movie script” realm. Seriously, if Cliff Lee dominates this World Series and then there is a movie made where the main character is a Big League Pitcher who runs through two straight postseasons like Cliff Lee, it will seem too unrealistic to be believable/a good movie. Basically, I’m trying to say that some force has to make Cliff hittable in this World Series. It seems illogical for him to continue the way he has.

I give the Rangers a big edge in hitting, but in a 7 game series, how can you really know? You can’t, that’s why they play the games. I can’t believe I just said that shit.

If you’re keeping score, I just said the Giants have better pitching and the Rangers have better hitting, so who’ll win the Fall Classic? Well, I thought the Yankees and Phils had better teams that the Rangers and Giants respectively, so I’m picking the Giants to win this, if you know what I mean.

I hope the Rangers win though, so I can see Josh Hamilton cry when he’s asked to explain his journey from the Natural, to the addict, to World Series Champion. By the way, Josh’s life story would make the most ridiculously obnoxious, impossible movie script of all. God, I love sports.