Man, I sort of forgot I even operated this website. I think it still looks pretty good. Aesthetically appealing. Aesthetically appealing was actually my nickname in High School. In ham Schmitmeyer since I’ve last posted: I have gotten a job and moved back to Columbus, Ohio. Bully for me! That’s about it. I’m pretty much the same guy, only slightly fatter, but I’m pleased to say that my hairline is still really hangin in there.
I don’t know if you’ve heard, but the NFL will be back this year. Maybe you’ve also heard of the Las Vegas Hilton Supercontest, or maybe not. It goes like this ⇒ as soon as the NFL spreads are released each week, the spreads are posted on the Supercontests website. Then, everyone who has paid the entry fee selects five games against their respective spreads. This continues every week throughout the entire 17 week NFL schedule. At the conclusion of the regular season, the individual(s) with the highest win percentage wins a shit-ton of money. Last year, the winner took home over 200 G’s, I think. It sounds really fun and I’ve always wanted to play in it, and by “always,” I of course mean, “since I’ve heard of this competition last season.” The catch is the entry = $1000, so homey can’t play that. I decided that since I have this website available, we could play the game here. Only on my website, it would be the “shits and giggles” version, where there is no entry fee or winnings. This is better for me since I am currently monetarily challenged. Many people I know are also struggling with this affliction, which is emotionally painful and as embarrassing as halitosis.
I think I would get enjoyment out of running this game and would not actually participate besides collecting the spreads and posting weekly picks, results and standings.
Here’s how it would work.
I will find the spreads as early as possible and post them to my website by Monday. Although spreads move throughout the week on gambling websites, they will remain constant during the individual week. Everyone will be required to email me their FIVE picks against the spread by noon on Sunday (Thursday games will be tossed out save Thanksgiving week). Actually, I’m not sure how I’ll do this yet, it’s still up for debate. If one does not send their pick by the cutoff, they will go 0-5 that week. The winner will have the highest win percentage after week 17. Ties will be tossed out, so they will not help your win percentage but they will also not hurt it. You will be required to open-mouth kiss your sister on the lips when this happens or you will suffer immediate disqualification, or death. Basically, a 3-1-1 week becomes 3-1; the total added to the balance of the season. I think this could be really fun and I want to gauge interest, so please get in touch with me somehow and let me know if you’d be down to clizzown.
p.s. if you entered into this with a group of friends, I could not possibly stop you from betting amongst yourselves. I’m not strong enough. Just know that I will not be in charge of any felonious activities.
I refuse to proofread this.
@hamtime5
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Big Ten/OSU Thoughts
There are a few things I do know. I know most reality television is idiotic, but I still get sucked into watching way too much of it. I know my multiplication tables. I know bacon is incredible, so I’ve also deduced that it’s horrible for you. I know The Big Ten isn’t a great football conference and I know that it is not the Buckeyes’ fault.
If you hate Chevrolet, it’s probably not because of the Corvette.
If you’re writing a thesis on why every girl on the planet is ugly, you’re probably not going to use a picture of Jessica Alba as your cover page.
If you brag about how great the SEC is at football, I bet you’re not spending too much time talking about Vanderbilt, and if you’re going to slam the Big Ten you shouldn’t point out the only team that could survive an SEC schedule; it’s the rest of the conference that’s atrocious.
When all the super-cool hipsters talk about their brand new theory of Ohio State being overrated they’ll definitely bring up a couple lopsided losses to SEC teams in the National Championship. There are a couple things they’ll conveniently leave out of this argument, however. They won’t tell you that the Buckeyes are 6-3 in BCS Bowl games, they’ll just tell you about the two blowouts. They won’t tell you, since literally the beginning of the Bowl System, the Buckeyes have had less than fair circumstances in which to play their games. Basically every time the Buckeyes went to play the Pac-10, the Buckeyes had to play an away game in the Pac-10’s backyard, in the Rose Bowl. Odds-makers give the home team three points every game, which doesn’t sound like much but trust me, it is. They won’t tell you when the Buckeyes won their BCS National Championship against Miami, the Buckeyes defeated one of the most talented rosters in the history of the sport. They won’t tell you the Buckeyes were a ten point underdog in the game, which if you equate the payout for betting on a team getting ten points straight up means the Buckeyes should have defeated that Miami team only 1 out of every 6 to 8 tries. But we don’t get credit for that. While you will be reminded about the loss to LSU in the National Championship, they’ll probably forget in which Bowl that game occurred. Well, I was there, and I remember that it was the Sugar Bowl. You know, the bowl located an hour from LSU’s campus? I remember another thing about that Sugar Bowl. I remember that only three minutes had elapsed when the Buckeyes had a 10-point lead. I wonder how that game turns out had the Buckeyes opened up a 10-point lead and the game had been played in Cleveland. Jim Tressel with another National Title? It’s possible. If it did play out in that hypothetical manner, the Buckeyes would then be 7-2 in BCS Bowl games with two National Titles. What a terrible program. That’s not a fair argument though, because Cleveland is two hours from Columbus, not one.
I don’t want to spend too much time breaking down last nights’ game because if you’re here, I’m guessing you watched it. The most important thing I took away from last night was that the Ohio State D-Line crushed the Arkansas O-line. OSU skill position players are usually pretty fast and can run with most SEC teams; we’ve struggled in the trenches though, historically. Last night was different though, the Buckeyes looked like they had the fastest big-eaters and when the Arkansas D-line got through the Buckeye O-line, Terrelle Pryor used his legs to cover up those mistakes. Oh yeah, Ohio State is the last program to defeat half of the teams still vying for the National Championship.
The Big Ten is behind in football and needs to be fixed, but Ohio State is not the problem.
In a short Part Two I’m going to talk a little bit about Terrelle Pryor and Jim Tressel.
I’m not sure how sincere I think Terrelle is when he apologizes for his youthful, errant decision-making, but I do know what he’s done on the field has been pretty amazing. No, he has not won a National Championship and he has not lived up to his expectations. But I’ve often stated his hype before attending the Ohio State was mostly unwarranted, because he never passed in high school and still couldn’t throw very well at the end of his freshman year against Texas. Terrelle Pryor has defeated Michigan three times in three tries, he’s won three Big Ten titles and two BCS bowl games. Terrelle Pryor is 31-4 as a starter by my count. I’d certainly take those numbers out of Braxton Miller, who will lead the Buckeyes in the future.
Jim Tressel’s coaching style can be painfully irritating to watch as a fan of The Buckeyes. However he’s won six straight Big Ten titles, a National Title and is 9-1 against M!ch!g@n. Tressel is 106-22 in his career at OSU and 66-14 in conference play. Before the 2010 campaign, I looked over Tressel’s stats and vowed to never complain about his decisions again. He gets the job done.
Many people are driven to be the best, but most rest after they attain such status. Tressel has continued to push the OSU football program so that the second best Big Ten program currently isn’t even close to Ohio State, IMO.
In other news, M!ch!g@n hated Rich Rod so much they fired him and then several hours later announced that they hadn’t fired him. They fired him again today in attempt to completely cleanse their palate of the previous three years. It’s quite difficult to be hired only once and fired twice, but Rich Rod was able to achieve this, much to my three-year delight.
If you hate Chevrolet, it’s probably not because of the Corvette.
If you’re writing a thesis on why every girl on the planet is ugly, you’re probably not going to use a picture of Jessica Alba as your cover page.
If you brag about how great the SEC is at football, I bet you’re not spending too much time talking about Vanderbilt, and if you’re going to slam the Big Ten you shouldn’t point out the only team that could survive an SEC schedule; it’s the rest of the conference that’s atrocious.
When all the super-cool hipsters talk about their brand new theory of Ohio State being overrated they’ll definitely bring up a couple lopsided losses to SEC teams in the National Championship. There are a couple things they’ll conveniently leave out of this argument, however. They won’t tell you that the Buckeyes are 6-3 in BCS Bowl games, they’ll just tell you about the two blowouts. They won’t tell you, since literally the beginning of the Bowl System, the Buckeyes have had less than fair circumstances in which to play their games. Basically every time the Buckeyes went to play the Pac-10, the Buckeyes had to play an away game in the Pac-10’s backyard, in the Rose Bowl. Odds-makers give the home team three points every game, which doesn’t sound like much but trust me, it is. They won’t tell you when the Buckeyes won their BCS National Championship against Miami, the Buckeyes defeated one of the most talented rosters in the history of the sport. They won’t tell you the Buckeyes were a ten point underdog in the game, which if you equate the payout for betting on a team getting ten points straight up means the Buckeyes should have defeated that Miami team only 1 out of every 6 to 8 tries. But we don’t get credit for that. While you will be reminded about the loss to LSU in the National Championship, they’ll probably forget in which Bowl that game occurred. Well, I was there, and I remember that it was the Sugar Bowl. You know, the bowl located an hour from LSU’s campus? I remember another thing about that Sugar Bowl. I remember that only three minutes had elapsed when the Buckeyes had a 10-point lead. I wonder how that game turns out had the Buckeyes opened up a 10-point lead and the game had been played in Cleveland. Jim Tressel with another National Title? It’s possible. If it did play out in that hypothetical manner, the Buckeyes would then be 7-2 in BCS Bowl games with two National Titles. What a terrible program. That’s not a fair argument though, because Cleveland is two hours from Columbus, not one.
I don’t want to spend too much time breaking down last nights’ game because if you’re here, I’m guessing you watched it. The most important thing I took away from last night was that the Ohio State D-Line crushed the Arkansas O-line. OSU skill position players are usually pretty fast and can run with most SEC teams; we’ve struggled in the trenches though, historically. Last night was different though, the Buckeyes looked like they had the fastest big-eaters and when the Arkansas D-line got through the Buckeye O-line, Terrelle Pryor used his legs to cover up those mistakes. Oh yeah, Ohio State is the last program to defeat half of the teams still vying for the National Championship.
The Big Ten is behind in football and needs to be fixed, but Ohio State is not the problem.
In a short Part Two I’m going to talk a little bit about Terrelle Pryor and Jim Tressel.
I’m not sure how sincere I think Terrelle is when he apologizes for his youthful, errant decision-making, but I do know what he’s done on the field has been pretty amazing. No, he has not won a National Championship and he has not lived up to his expectations. But I’ve often stated his hype before attending the Ohio State was mostly unwarranted, because he never passed in high school and still couldn’t throw very well at the end of his freshman year against Texas. Terrelle Pryor has defeated Michigan three times in three tries, he’s won three Big Ten titles and two BCS bowl games. Terrelle Pryor is 31-4 as a starter by my count. I’d certainly take those numbers out of Braxton Miller, who will lead the Buckeyes in the future.
Jim Tressel’s coaching style can be painfully irritating to watch as a fan of The Buckeyes. However he’s won six straight Big Ten titles, a National Title and is 9-1 against M!ch!g@n. Tressel is 106-22 in his career at OSU and 66-14 in conference play. Before the 2010 campaign, I looked over Tressel’s stats and vowed to never complain about his decisions again. He gets the job done.
Many people are driven to be the best, but most rest after they attain such status. Tressel has continued to push the OSU football program so that the second best Big Ten program currently isn’t even close to Ohio State, IMO.
In other news, M!ch!g@n hated Rich Rod so much they fired him and then several hours later announced that they hadn’t fired him. They fired him again today in attempt to completely cleanse their palate of the previous three years. It’s quite difficult to be hired only once and fired twice, but Rich Rod was able to achieve this, much to my three-year delight.
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