Is this where all the D!cks hang out?

Blog 3 boys.  Blog 3.  3rd time is a charm.  3 M F ing french hens.  Today I think I will talk about my phobia of urinals and what I thought about the NASCAR event last weekend.  Man, Kara Dioguardi looks good tonight.

First off, I've never had too much respect for urinals.  Ever since I was a wee lad, I have never understood them.  I remember in school we had the urinals that went to the floor and now I usually see the urinals that start out about, oh I don't know, 2 feet off the ground, eliminating all little people from potential usage.  At least when I was little urinals wouldn't discriminate and I can't believe in today's world urinals are taking a step backwards and discriminating more now than before.  Come on urinals, Barack Obama is president, be the change.  

I'm sorry urinals, I know I was pretty tough in paragraph one but that isn't even really why I dislike you.  Hold on to your horses urinals (ha, I just pictured a urinal riding a horse) it will probably get worse.  

I don't know, maybe I'm just not good at urinals but I have never really been able to use them properly.  So I don't know, maybe I'm the only one having this problem, hopefully someone can back me up here.  Maybe it's because the angle of my dangle isn't proportionate to the heat of my meat but every time I use a urinal I get splashed with my own piss.  I think what bugs me the most is that some of this ricochet I'm catching could be the remnants of a previous user's pee.  Yuck.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I love pee, who doesn't but I would much rather use a conventional toilet and forgo having two navy blue puddles on my jeans when I return to whoever I am with.  Peeing your pants is cool but having pee splatter your knee is a little embarrassing.  

On a side note, the very worst place I have encountered peeing in urinals is the B Dubs on Lane and High.  The last time I had to use a urinal at this particular bdubs I was a little chilly due to all the wetness on my leg.  Honestly, I think the next time I take a leak there I am going to change into a swimsuit.  I always pee in swimsuits, don't you?

Sometimes I feel goofy taking a leak in a toilet when all the urinals are open but that's okay. Opting for toilets doesn't make me any less of a man, neither does my love for American Musical Theatre.  No, no, it's my vagina that makes me less of a man. 

NASCAR?

In case you missed it, who cares.  The heavens opened up and it started raining, the race was called with 48 (of 200) laps left.  The order of the racers with 48 laps left is how they finished, which was a terrible way to crown a champion.  

WTF NASCAR.  THE DAYTONA 500, THE SUPERBOWL OF RACING.  Uh, we just had the real Super Bowl and they didn't quit after the third quarter.  In fact, they played the entire game.  I understand they can't continue the race when it is raining but that seriously sucked.  I mean, I can't think of a better system NASCAR should invoke for such events but they should race the entire race.  Put that shit under a dome.  The real reason I'm mad is because I bet on the race and it was the first race I have ever watched and was called 3/4 of the way through.  Oh yeah, my main man Elliot Sadler, was in first and then he decided to go slow for a while, dropping him to fifth.  It was about 5 laps after this happened that the race was called and yours truly lost his bet.  I guess I learned my lesson, I don't like NASCAR and I'm not giving it another chance.