Q. What is one character you would change in any movie?
A. Ok, I'm going to answer my own question with a few answers here. First off, I'm changing Nick Cage to Bruce Willis in every movie Nick Cage has ever appeared in. Seriously though, I would change Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz to Danny DeVito. I would also like to change Toto with Shaq. I've always wanted to see Danny DeVito carry Shaq in a whicker basket and this would be my perfect chance.
Q. What is the worst movie you have every seen?
A. I think I have a tie here. House of 1000 Corpses and The Dentist II. Was anyone familiar with The Dentist I? I know I haven't, which is why I'm not exactly sure why I watched The Dentist II but I definitely wish I had those two hours of my life back. I don't really remember why I hated House of 1000 Corpses so much because I've been trying to forget that movie. I do it starred Rainn Wilson (Dwight Schrute) and it was incredibly impossible.
I should stop being so negative.
Q. What is the best movie you have ever seen?
A. I think The Dark Night is probably the best made movie I've ever seen. I usually don't really go for action movies but The Dark Night was pretty awesome. As for my favorite movies... Field of Dreams, American Beauty, Donnie Darko, Almost Famous and Dumb and Dumber. I also really liked Requiem for a Dream but I never want to see it again. It is a pretty powerful movie and really leaves an impression on you, which is something I look for in a good movie.
Q. If you could be an animal what would you be?
A. I would probably want to be a cat. You can do whatever you want all day and play with stupid things that shouldn't be fun at all. Things like, paper, bouncy balls and your own tail. This is something I could definitely get into. I would not be the cleanest cat on the block though, because I have a policy that clearly states, "I do not lick my own two-hole".
Q. How many cans of beer could you consume in one day without a puking rally?
A. I'm going to pretend like it is one year ago and say about 16. This of course, is an all day boozing affair, definitely not saying I could do this in two hours like "the godfather" probably could.
Q. If you had to lose two of your limbs which two would you choose?
A. I think I would get rid of my left arm and right leg. This is because I am right-handed and I could hold a crutch in my right arm to act as my right leg.
Q. If you could go back to any one point in time, where would you go?
A. I would probably go back to the last ice age and try to befriend a wooly mammoth. I think if I had a wooly mammoth on my side I would probably be pretty successful. It could probably catch all my meals for me. It would be my source of transportation and I could cut off some of its hair and make a killer blanket. I might even have it kill another wooly mammoth and hollow out its insides so I had a nice house to live in. Yeah, this is definitely what I would do.
Q. If you could only use one condiment for the rest of your life what would it be?
A. A1 Steak sauce. A1 steak sauce. A1 steak sauce. I like A1 steak sauce. I can manage eating chips without dip and I can even eat french fries without ketchup. I will not eat steak without A1 though, I'd rather eat my shoe with a side of potatoes.
Q. What is the worst school mascot you have ever heard of?
A. I can't decide if Thad Matta's Cornjerkers is the best or worst mascot I have ever heard of. I have also heard of a Green Wave which I don't particularly understand. Green Wave, doesn't really scare me but I also have never been part of a hurricane.
Q. What is the most useless animal you can think of?
A. The manitee. It's nickname is the sea-cow. I don't think the land-cow is particularly useful, besides the milk, of course. Last time I checked sea-cows don't give milk so I think they are a pretty terrible animal which contributes nothing to society. Get a job, sea-cow.
Hammer, you make me waste valuable studying time but I will remark to questions after my exams on tues, wed, thurs, when I am at work on friday and do nothing at all but try not to get yelled at for sleeping - as to comments on your first blog tho, a little disappointed that the snuggies commercial was not correlated with finallyfast.com, as I believe the behind the scenes man for both commercials was the same guy, had to be - but there formula for success was a commercial that was socialably akward+different+horrific+annoying+cult like+on all my favl. channels on serious repeat = genius bc they were so bad that they actually worked and genereated a word of mouth buzz like no good commercial could (Proof = dane, strick and deans roomate bought 4 snuggies for them as christmas presents this yaer) so I say genius
ReplyDeleteJohn - You praise steak in one of your answers then less than 50 words later you state that a land cow is useless aside from the milk.
ReplyDeleteInteresting idea of switching out Nick Cage with Bruce Willis. I'm a little older than you, so I remember Nick Cage before he stopped reading scripts when choosing movie roles. Willis couldn't have pulled off Raising Arizona but he might have made Wicker Man watchable.
And yes I saw the Dentist I. It stared Corbin Bernsen of Major League and L.A. Law fame. One of the worst movies ever, but I can name an even worse horror movie from the era. Ice Cream Man staring Clint Howard circa 1995. If you're not familiar with Clint, he's director Ron's brother. Ha...just looking at Clint's imdb and he was in 'the Dentist II'. Come to think of it, I'd like to see more Clint Howard.
If I could go back to any time in history it would be 6 minutes ago and not read this blog. Sorry, that was hacky.